The Kinetic Dance

As parents, our relationships with the children we raise are kinetic—always moving, always in flux. This lifelong interplay can be likened to a dance.

When children are young, the dance resembles ballroom dancing. While not always graceful, the adult clearly leads the duet. The child, often wrapped in an adult’s arms or held by the hand, is guided from one organized activity to the next—bathtime, bedtime, and beyond.

As the child grows, the dance becomes more dynamic, even awkward. Toes are stepped on as children begin experimenting with solos. This stage resembles a square dance: still choreographed, but with room for children to explore on their own before circling back “home.”

Then comes preadolescence and adolescence. Seemingly overnight, the structured square dance can devolve into a chaotic mosh pit. Bumping into each other becomes common. Tempers flare, misunderstandings arise, and the once-fluid rhythm turns explosive. Occasionally, the parent and adolescent may regain their footing in a passionate tango, but more often than not, the dance feels disconnected and unpredictable.

Adolescents may also thrash against their environment—school, peers, or any other “dance floor” that imposes boundaries. Alternatively, some teens might isolate themselves, sitting on the sidelines and refusing to dance at all. In search of a temporary sense of rhythm, they may turn to unhealthy behaviors: excessive use of technology, substances, risky actions, or other patterns that give them fleeting feelings of flow. While these behaviors might seem out of sync to adults, they offer the teen a momentary illusion of connection—even if it disconnects them further from loved ones and reality. Unfortunately, these disconnected dances often come with harmful consequences.

If this resonates with you, it might be time to seek a choreographer to help your family find its rhythm again. That’s where we come in. We help your loved one rediscover their authentic rhythm by aligning them with treatment that amplifies the music at the core of their being. In the process, we also support you in restoring harmony to your parent-child relationship. Together, we can create a dance filled with connection, understanding, and joy.